As someone who works closely with nonprofit Boards and executive teams, I’ve always believed that respect is foundational to leadership. It’s not just about strategy and outcomes, it’s about how we show up for one another. Recently, I’ve been reminded that even with the best intentions, there’s always room to grow.

I’ve been supporting a nonprofit Board in their search for a new Executive Director. This organization serves a community that has long been shaped by resilience, advocacy, and a deep commitment to inclusivity. Several of their leaders use they/them pronouns, and despite my respect for each of them, I’ve found myself stumbling. I’ve misused pronouns. I’ve corrected myself mid-sentence. I’ve felt the sting of getting it wrong.

Pronouns are more than words. They’re a reflection of identity, belonging, dignity and visibility. When someone shares their pronouns, they’re inviting us to see them fully and to honor that truth in how we speak. For those of us who grew up with binary language norms, using they/them pronouns for individuals may feel unfamiliar. But unfamiliar doesn’t mean optional. It means we have the opportunity to learn.

In the nonprofit sector, we often talk about equity and inclusion. We write it into our mission statements. We build it into our strategic plans. But the real work happens in the everyday moments.  How we greet someone, how we introduce them, and how we refer to them when they’re not in the room. These moments either reinforce belonging or erode it.

Inclusive leadership isn’t about perfection, it’s about intentionality, respect, and presence. It’s about showing up with humility, curiosity, and a willingness to grow. I’m grateful to the leaders who’ve modeled that for me, and I’m committed to doing the same.

This journey has reminded me that leadership isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about being willing to ask better questions. If you’ve ever hesitated, stumbled, or felt unsure about using someone’s pronouns correctly, you’re not alone. What matters is that we keep showing up, keep learning, and keep choosing respect. I’m committed to that path, and I invite others, especially those of us guiding teams, Boards, and communities, to walk it with me. Together, we can build spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.

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Nicole Lindley is a Senior Advisor with Armstrong McGuire who specializes in executive search, talent acquisition, finance, strategic planning, organizational change, and leadership coaching. Learn more about Nicole in her bio.